Archive for the ‘Concoctions’ Category

For a few weeks now, I have been going through personal meditation á la Marcus Aurelius and pondered about this Quarter Life Crisis (QLC). I consider myself a late-bloomer in some aspects of my life that I still feel some of this. It may be nothing, but it certainly always pushes me to assert the true me everytime my birthday comes around. This usually ranges from the early twenties to the early thirties. Again, I am a late bloomer in “some” aspects so don´t crucify me when you read this.

Some people don´t really understand the gist of this since coining of the term is pretty recent (and pointless). The first time I heard of the term was from a John Mayer song. 

Man, I remember getting out of college, it is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

Wikipedia put it plainly:

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:

feeling “not good enough”

feeling unsuited for current job

feeling that one’s life has no definitive purpose

frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career

confusion of identity frustrated with peers and/or feeling more mature than peers

insecurity regarding the near future

insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals

insecurity regarding present accomplishments

re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships

disappointment with one’s job

nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life

tendency to hold stronger opinions

boredom with social interactions

loss of closeness to high school and college friends

financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)

loneliness

desire to have children

a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

uncontrollable urge to get a tattoo — Ok, I never got this urge at all!

These emotions and insecurities are not uncommon at this age, nor at any age in adult life. In the context of the quarter-life crisis, however, they occur shortly after a young person – usually an educated professional, in this context – enters the “real world”. After entering adult life and coming to terms with its responsibilities, some individuals find themselves experiencing career stagnation or extreme insecurity. The individual often realizes the real world is tougher, more competitive and less forgiving than they imagined. Furthermore, the qualifications they have spent so much time and money earning are not likely to prepare them for this disillusionment. A related problem is simply that many college graduates do not achieve a desirable standard of living after graduation. They often end up living in low-income apartments with roommates instead of having an income high enough to support themselves. Substandard living conditions, combined with menial or repetitive work at their jobs create a great amount of frustration, anxiety and anger. Nobody wants to admit to feeling like a ‘loser’; this secrecy may intensify the problem. As the emotional ups-and-downs of adolescence and college life subside, many affected by quarter-life crisis experience a “graying” of emotion. While emotional interactions may be intense in a high school or college environment – where everyone is roughly the same age and hormones are highly active – these interactions become subtler and more private in adult life[citation needed]. Furthermore, a factor contributing to quarter-life crisis may be the difficulty in adapting to a workplace environment. In college, professors’ expectations are clearly given and students receive frequent feedback on their performance in their courses. One progresses from year to year in the education system. In contrast, within a workplace environment, one may be, for some time, completely unaware of a boss’s displeasure with one’s performance, or of one’s colleagues’ dislike of one’s personality. One does not automatically make progress. Office politics require interpersonal skills that are largely unnecessary for success in an educational setting.

Looking at all the “symptoms”, I know MANY who are past 30+ who feel like this. Why box it in just one age group. Clearly, these issues are prominent in any stage in one´s life…more so than others of course.

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FB warning me of my activity

Warning after an hour of posting around 20 messages to friends. A web 2.0 nightmare for a person with circa 2000 friends!

So it goes…after 58 hours and awesome sweet political Conservative and Liberal friends later, Facebook re-instated my original profile which I have had for years with the following email:

 

“Facebook has limits in place to prevent behavior that other users may find annoying or abusive…Unfortunately, we cannot provide you with the specific rates that have been deemed abusive. Your account was disabled because you exceeded Facebook’s limits on multiple occasions when sending links and making Wall posts, despite having been warned to slow down. Please be aware that if your account is disabled again, we will not be able to reactivate it. Once logged in, please slow down the rate at which you share links and post on group Walls.  We appreciate your cooperation going forward.”

First off, HOW exactly was I annoying and abusive? By having too much traffic and activity on my site because my FB friends are very much engaged in the posts that I put on my walls? Isn´t the idea of web 2.0 is SOCIAL NETWORKING? Why is being SOCIAL penalized? Is SOCIAL and INTELLECTUAL ACTIVITY in social sites unacceptable? The ANSWER is NO. 

If I am annoying and abusive, what about those people that go to my site and attack me directly for my opinions out of nowhere? (They are not even in my list of friends!)

Some “hate mails” I have been receiving lately shows intolerance of other people´s views:

From Micah Weiss: “Your Stand on politics is the worst ever !!! you dont even live here .. and you have those views about Obama … makes me sick to my stomach … im sorry .. not narrowminded !!”

From Todd Lytle- a Screenplay Writer in Hollywood: “shows your ignorance and honestly coming from a hard core conservative doesn’t surprise me you would have that kind of mentality. I shared your comment with a few of my friends who were and weren’t Jewish and they all said you were just being nasty trying to piss me off. I will not stoop to your pathetic level of insults based on a generalization. Instead I will just let people know who you really are…and give them the heads up on your ignorant nature. After all you cannot help it…DITTOHEAD!!”

From Alex Demyanenko, (who asked me to remove his Title and Employer, hmm) : “Your funnies (political cartoons you post) are offensive and further proof that GOOD finally won out over EVIL. Karma, baby! Rovian = Evil.”

From Trevor Capon: “I don’t know how I see your pictures but you are an idiot. You really think intelligence is the mark of a Republican? You who vote for Sarah Palin and you who’s hero is Joe the Plumber? John McCain finished at the bottom of his class and Obama was president of the Harvard Law Review. If you look at all of the polling college educated voters went 4 to 1 to Obama. Please try to back up your arguments with facts.”

I have allowed people to write me things like this (and decided to be above it because liberals have always resorted to personal attacks rather than substantiating their arguments). I also wanted to let everyone know that I am not the Conservative leaning chick who just deletes people because they think different than I do. I am NOT that judgmental. I got friends from all walks of life: Homeless, Filthy Rich, Educated with Ph D, Dropouts, Business owners, Social Welfare Milkers, Handicaps, Sports jock Olympians, Musicians, Tone-deafs, Conservatives, Liberals, Confused and Apathetic people. But I learn from all of them. I live in the same planet as they do and they ALL matter to me because each has their own way of viewing the world I do not see.

I understand that politics is personal but seriously, how come others are able to handle and accept other differing views while others resort to give insulting remarks. I have had worse emails than that too with people using profanities but I guess the slandering to other people´s pages calling me “idiot”, “offshore terrorist”, “moron”, or “stupid” are ok to write people instead of putting notes to facilitate debates. Do I get hurt? Not really. People are FREE to express their views, regardless of the degree to where it leans: Positive or negative. But I do take pride in the fact that I am touching them somehow and make them think or defend their ground, which is what I am after. Nothing is worse to me than people with no opinion, belief or purpose. You might as well be dead if you don´t want to grow. 

Facebook ought to pay me for such intellectual activity that I have started. The only people who appreciate are those are truly “educated” from life because they understand that we are all individuals with different backgrounds that shape our ideologies and values we live by. 

When I started with Facebook, I thought it was exciting to keep in touch with your college friends and stuff, but now that they allow all developers to create these annoying apps, I found it so cluttered. Excuse me that I do not want to clutter my page with those apps that I find useless. I want my FB platform to be purposeful and since I am a practicing political strategist ( I eat politics for breakfast and late night snacks), I want to do something on MY page, what I want to do: DEBATES. I want stimulating conversations with my friends and learn from all sides of the spectrum. I get that, but apparently Facebook is not the place for these types. All the more I am convinced that iCampaign.tv NEEDS be unleashed for people like me.

In a nutshell, iCampaign.tv will be a tool ( web , mobile and desktop ) to empower any campaign for all types of industries which will use Open Social platform. Stay tuned!

For those who do not agree with me, don´t worry. I will not delete you. Just show some respect in giving your opinions. But you are free to delete me. It is not my problem that you cannot handle people who think different than you. But you know, I don´t know if I want to be your friend anyway, because I find that being around all “Yes- People” are boring. Look at Obama with his choices now, at least I am grown up enough to find common ground with the guy. He is not after “Yes-People”.

Facebook says, “Continued misuse of Facebook’s features could result in your account being disabled.” How is posting content on your OWN group walls and notes be MISUSAGE? Who made these stupid rules? This is like curbing my voracious appetite for putting my own content in a box.

Puh-leeeze, don´t bother boxing me in because I am going to find a way to crawl out of it. I don´t like boxes, the air gets too stuffy inside.

The Great Gatsby

Posted: 2008/05/25 in Concoctions, Life, Relationships
Tags: ,

Fitzgerald´s The Great Gatsby will always be a lifelong favorite book for me. Mainly, due to the premise of how a man returned with so much material wealth to show the woman he loved what she wanted. But of course the twist in the plot was that she got married to a wealthy conniving man (which is the main reason she broke up with the love of her life). The entire thing ends up in tragedy because the woman gets killed and Gatsby, our hero was framed. Whether we like it or not, it reflects our past and current societies even if we try to slam dunk that with the advent of independent women who can earn and pay their expenses. Taking out that peel though, we know many women will want a woman who can amass more wealth and power than they do. I went through something like that from my former ex-fiancé and her family. The difference is that I have no desire to go back like Gatsby. But I am preparing myself for the fiancé that is coming my way.

My mission in life when it comes to the next woman who comes along and decides to choose to spend the rest of her life with me: TO AMASS SO MUCH WEALTH THAT SHE AND MY CHILDREN AND FUTURE CHILDREN WILL NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. Of course, I am not saying that is the ONLY thing required, she will get unconditional love from me, but I want to give her a freedom and life where we don´t have to worry about anything…and of course, crazy enough where I can retire at 40 yrs old if I want to (which may be a problem because I am such a workaholic and love the international scope of my work).

But bottom line, my desire can be in a snapshot such as this:

I sit on MY beach (yes, in my own island) with my mobile phone having a short meeting with my company board running my companies sipping Mai tais while I lovingly look and wave at my naked wife and kids playing in the water.

Very simple. Very achievable. Very reachable.

I am almost there.

All missing is my dream woman.