Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

There are many types of stubbornness. The kind that refuses to budge once a decision has been reached, and another kind that is based on the misguided knowledge that one is absolutely right. The latter is a major Ego problem much in our world that creates rifts in most professional and personal relationships. Resist the impulse to judge or blame others or adopt a polarizing position. Be open to new information about any potential relationships. Fight your mind and cultural programming that tempts you to fight or run, jumping to judgmental conclusions and opposing any possible positive interest every step of the way. However, this usually results in an increasingly polarized situation. If you intend to keep any new relationship (you desire) moving forward, this is not the most advantageous place to go.

If you want to improve things, you may want to stay clear of taking sides, even your own. What may work is for you and the other person to move from a personal point of view to a shared point of view — even though you will still have differences. Pause for a moment, refuse to react. Sheath your sword in favor of listening to your loved ones (or professional relationships) more closely. Like attracts like, and if you want to win the heart, show and give your heart. Ensure someone who feels more insecure that you are sincere and rock-steady by listening and eliciting with your Soul. Always be present. Give yourself.

Avoid absolute words like “always” and “never” in emotionally charged situations. Be open and compassionate when listening to what others say, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Self-scrutiny is always a great thing for your growth for it gives you an opportunity to review and reset your standards for the relationships you want.

When you are much more self-aware of your own foibles and flaws, humbling yourself, you can turn any potential embarrassment into an opportunity to learn and grow with honesty. Let correction take place. Steer your ship back to the center channel where you can move with the current, the natural flow. If you are diligent and honest with yourself and others, this opens a chance to set a relationship situation back on course.

Chastisement may be meted out only if you are greedy or, conversely, self-negating. Justice demands an appropriate investment by all participants. This may present an excellent opportunity to raise your standards as well as your self-esteem.

Holding on to Egotistical stubborn pride is usually what is holding you back. It takes a tremendous commitment and real passion to make any relationship succeed. The choice is yours, so use it wisely.

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Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

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Your thoughts create your emotions.

In visualization, your thoughts are used to create an image in your minds eye, imagining it unfolding in real time. Depending on the thoughts, an emotional response is created in your body in real time. Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between a real experience or an imagined experience. Your body still responds to the thoughts and images that are being created in your mind.

Try the following visualization excercise so you can see how the power of thought can create your emotional and physical experience – which is your reality.

Imagine holding a yellow lemon. Now imagine yourself taking a bite of the lemon. (you can imagine cutting it or peeling it first if you’d really like). Once you have taken a bite, take your time with the visual. Chew the lemon, savour it, take another bite if you will. Do this slowly in your minds eye and really try to experience this as if you are actually doing it right at this very moment…

Allow yourself to become aware of the feelings and sensations that take place as you are taking bites of this juicy yellow lemon. Feel the texture of the lemon in your mouth. imagine it’s scent of the lemon, and taste it, allowing the sour juices to mingle over your taste buds…

If your mouth watered, even a little, then you can understand the power of thoughts, and how they can create a physical experience. Your body responded to the imagined experience of eating a lemon, even though there was no lemon present. Althought this expiriment would be a little more difficult for you if you have never had the experience of tasting a lemon. But visualizing anything sour will produce the same mouth watering effect. You can try this visual expiriment again, but this time close your eyes so that you can experience it in your minds eye with greater detail.

Your body responds to what the mind sees, whether it is real or imagined. Only your logical conscious mind knows that the lemon was not really there, but the symbolic subconscious mind does not know the difference.

Visualization opens us up to an invisible world that is ours to create at will.

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We can imagine our worst fears taking place, and our heart may start pounding out of anxiety. Or we can imagine instead, the experience of being loved, or in love, and our heart may start pounding out of passion. Which feels better?

This example demonstrates how visualization can have a powerfull effect on the body. Thoughts can be used to visualize an image or situation and physical effects can be felt in real time. Your thoughts create your emotions .

Try another quick experiment to get an idea of how your emotions can effect your body, and how you experience your reality whether it is happening in the present, past or future.

Allow yourself to remember a situation in your life that has caused you pain or sorrow. Hold it in your memory (and in your minds eye) for about 20 or 30 seconds. Really visualize it, bringing yourself back to the situation as if you are experiencing it for the first time at this very moment in real time.

How do you feel? Probably not very good.

Now remember or imagine a very happy memory or a joyful moment or situation in your life, and do the same thing. Think about it for about 20 or 30 seconds, and really visualize the experience as if is taking place in the here and the now. How do you feel now? Probably a lot better than when you thought about the negative memory. If you want, you can try this again with your eyes closed, so that you can really bring the experience into the present moment.

It is not the situation creating the experience, it is your thoughts about the experience that create the emotions you have. Your emotions shape the way you experience the world.

The same effects can be experienced by imagining a situation in the future that you fear, and then comparing your physical response to a situation which you are looking forward to. An situation, whether it is real or imagined can bring about the same emotional responses based upon your thoughts.

The thoughts and visuals created an emotional response within your body, similar to the way the lemon visualization might have made your mouth water. If you can’t quite feel the effects you might not be getting a clear image in your mind or thinking about the image or situation as clearly as you could. In creative visualization your are imagining the situation unfolding in real time as if it is currently happening in the here and the now. The situation or experience you are visualizing can be thought of as a scene from a movie, but instead of visualizing it as if you are an observer watching the scene unfold before you, you put yourself into the situation itself, experiencing it as if you are an actor in the movie.

Creative Visualization is a wonderful tool that you can use anytime to create the experience your desire. We often go through life imagining our worst fears, or dwelling on painful memories of the past. Use Creative Visualization to imagine the experience you want to have. Start by thinking about what you want, not what you don’t want. These thoughts will create the images you will experience when using creative visualization.

Imagine yourself already having the money, relationships, career, etc,. that you desire. Experience what you want as if you already have it so that you will have a positive emotional response. Since we attract the things we think and feel, this will help you to creative positive change within your life.

Practicing Creative visualization can inspire you to begin a journey of positive thinking and reality manifestation, helping you to create a happier healthier YOU, and changing the way you experience the world around you.

Your body is constantly responding to both your conscious and your subconscious thoughts. Your body even responds to the consciousness of other people.

Have you ever walked into a room where two people were arguing and you could almost feel the tension in the room? Many people who visit supposed haunted locations start to feel the physical effects of the fight or flight response; increased adrenaline, a pounding heart or sweaty palms. The same physical anxiety might occur when one is nervous about an upcoming speech they must give, or a job interview they must prepare for, and so on.

But it’s not the situation causing the physical effects or emotional response, it’s the thoughts one is having about the physical experience or situation. Thinking positive thoughts leads to positive emotions which effect the body in a positive way. Thoughts of love produce feelings of love, unless of course you are someone who fears love (perhaps love is associated with a painful experience), then negative thoughts may result in your body reacting in an unpleasant way. Painful memories can bring tears to our eyes, even though the actual physical experience is no longer present or valid. This is a subconscious belief that has been programmed by your previous experiences.

Our mind-body reacts to our past, present, and future no matter if the situation is real, or imagined. We can bring these memories and imagined experiences into our present awareness at any time. We can imagine what our future will be like (or what we want it to be like), and we can visualize ourselves in situations that haven’t occurred yet. We can shape our minds at will or we can let the subconscious fears or negative thinking take over. It’s amazing what you can experience once you “become aware of being aware”.

Some people allow their subconscious fears and worries to take over their thoughts. Negative images and painful memories can paint a dreary picture on the canvas of their minds. Thoughts of any kind create feelings, which your brain interprets, and responds to by sending signals to your body, which react in real time. The fearful thoughts can create a physical reaction such as with the heart pounding, or the sweaty palms we experience when we are nervous or ill at ease. The positive and loving images can also create a physical effect in real time, but of course they feel much better!

When you consciously think about something, notice your emotional response. If it’s not what you want to feel then backtrack and change the original thought. Visualize the situation or experience that you want to feel, imagine the desired feeling, and reprogram your thinking process. This can change your perceptions, your attitudes, and can even effect the way other people respond you.

Creative visualization involves using the thinking-feeling process to imagine a desired situation or goal manifesting in real time. This process can be used to heal your own body by visualizing in detail how you want to feel, and imagining the body responding to your desired thoughts at the same moment. Negative thinking such as constant worry can create stress within the physical body. Positive thinking can relax and heal the body, freeing it from tension and stress.

Remember to pay attention to your thoughts, and becoming aware of the emotional response. Once you get into the habit of doing this you can start to reprogram your old negative thinking, and start creating the reality that you want to experience NOW and not later.

By changing your thinking, your changing the emotional responses of your body.

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.

Change your mind. Change your life.